His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
