please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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