yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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