After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
