my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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