Got a toothbrush?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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