the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
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You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
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True strength comes from lack of pants
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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