have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
