is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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