You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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