That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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