Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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