I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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