dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
i think i just lost a toe
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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