The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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