I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize