What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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