did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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