How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
