Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just gift wrapped bread.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
