it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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