at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
