Having a random hookup so left but love u
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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