What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Do vagina's smell?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
