i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
