Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
