Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
