Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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