It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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