well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
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