1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Drake has all the answers
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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