dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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