when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
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She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
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Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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