yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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