just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize