Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
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It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
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apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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