I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I will pee on everything he values.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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