i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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