So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
