my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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