help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My bed smells like the plague
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
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