I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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