She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
