I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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