we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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