Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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