who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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