OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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