I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
