are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
