forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
