Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
