If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
if only i could text you this smell
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
