ugly people sure do ruin things
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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