I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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