Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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