I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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