somebody snuck up and got me drunk
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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