direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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